You are currently browsing the monthly archive for March 2012.
Ways I Embrace My Audience
Well I never really thought I wanted to really gain an audience, but really for the few followers I have I guess I hope to really keep you interested! I’m just hoping my few posts really draw people in help get more support in my writing!
“Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire.”
“Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world.”
I found a site which lists 100 Blog topics and I now feel like I have to try to write about each one of them. So here’s topic number one, “How I use Facebook.”
What an interesting topic to force you to really think about! The fact is that I generally use Facebook as a place to go when I’m in search of someone to talk to. In all reality I’m on Facebook probably 5% when there’s nothing to do (I’m much more into stumble) and 95% because I’m lonely and hoping that for some reason my Facebook will magically bring me someone to talk to or make me smile, weird considering 90% of the time I end up walking away or logging off completely (and generally I feel worse than before I got on), not sure how important social sites really are to me anymore. How do you use Facebook?
Poetry by Ilva Pieterse
I’m not depressed
I am not depressed
I’m just deflated
Out of style and over-dressed
At second-best, I’m overrated
An old birthday balloon
(Out of breath, somewhat bated)
I hum my jingles out of tune
One-hit-wonders soon outdated
Like a song without sound
Mourning a muted meltdown
I’m at the point of no concern
For my inability to yearn
I am –
Whatever comes after
The past, the future
The cries, and the laughter
I remain –
Whatever came before
The purple rain, the midnight train
The virgin and the whore
I am a pixelated painting
Understood by few
Inexplicably containing
Little drops of you
You’re my middle C
A sepia photograph
Of my mundane eulogy
And my previous epitaph
You are my bitter half
The gall in my bladder
My nervous laugh
My endless chatter
You’re my history rewritten
My once shy, twice-bitten
My state-of-the-art
You’re the bottom of my heart
The top of my lungs
You’re my talking in tongues
The motivational quote
In my suicide note
And although I’ll never be free
From this heart on my sleeve
I’ll always wish you to be
The Adam to my Eve.
Okay so the real reason I’ve started this blog is in order to keep my sanity through my journey when I have PHN. So I really should talk about this. It started for me at age seven when I was diagnosed with shingles for the first time. At age seven-teen I was diagnosed again and up until now (age 20) I’ve had shingles a total of five times.
What is Shingles?
The medical term for shingles is acute herpes zoster. Shingles is a skin rash that develops on half of the body, in a belt-like pattern. The rash is usually on either the right or left side of the chest, starting in the middle of the back and wrapping around to the breast — but it can occur on any part of the body, such as the forehead and abdomen. (I personally had it only on my right side, when younger on my stomach and back and older on the back of my right thigh).
Most of the time, shingles is very painful. Sometimes the pain from shingles starts several days before the rash appears. When the pain starts before the skin rash, it can be very hard for doctors to make the correct diagnosis. Many patients have been told they have heart attacks, appendicitis, and migraine headaches before getting the correct diagnosis of shingles. (We have always found out quickly THANK GOODNESS!)
Fortunately, in most cases the pain of shingles gradually disappears over several weeks or months. Most people with shingles will have no pain or just a little pain one year after the rash. (This is where my case is different)
What is Postherpetic Neuralgia?
If the pain from shingles does not go away, it is called postherpetic neuralgia (PHN). Only a small number of people with shingles develop PHN. (That’s me!)
Who Gets Shingles and Postherpetic Neuralgia?
Age is an important factor in determining who gets shingles and PHN. The older you are, the greater chance you have of developing shingles. And, the older you are when you get shingles, the greater chance you have of developing PHN.
Recently, a good scientific study showed that older people with a neuropathy (nerves of the body that are not working correctly, usually due to old age or diabetes) are more likely to develop PHN after shingles. It is interesting that most people in this study who had a neuropathy before they got shingles did not know they had a neuropathy — they did not have any symptoms. Therefore, having a neuropathy, even if it is not causing symptoms, may increase the chances of getting PHN.
Other studies have suggested that the more severe and painful the shingles rash is, the greater the chance of long-lasting PHN pain. Also, some studies have concluded that people who do not cope well with stress and pain may have worse PHN than others who cope better. (they believe mine is do to stress)
Pain from Shingles and Postherpetic Neuralgia
Patients often describe the pain from shingles as a horrible, unbearable pain in the area of the rash. Each patient may experience different types and degrees of pain. The words used to describe the pain include sharp, electric-like jabs, burning, throbbing, aching, and skin sensitivity. (I often feel it’s like having wasps living under sking constantly stinging you while having your skin burned by one of those sunburns that blisters).
Most patients who develop the chronic pain of PHN say that the pain is less severe than the shingles pain, but it may still be intense. Like shingles pain, the pain of PHN can be described as sharp, electric-like jabs, burning, throbbing, aching, and skin sensitivity, and the pain is different from patient to patient. Patients might also have intense itching in the painful area. The pain of PHN may spread beyond the original shingles rash, and often includes several inches above the rash area. Some patients have severe skin sensitivity (called allodynia) that can be very disabling, especially if the sensitive area is on the chest, trunk, or limbs, making the touch of clothing unbearable.
Other Symptoms and Problems Associated with Shingles and Postherpetic Neuralgia
This is where the blogging comes in.
People suffering from shingles or PHN may develop depression, anxiety, and sleeping difficulties because of the severe pain. The patient should tell his or her doctor about these problems so they may be treated. (After trying now five treatments nothing has worked and the suggestions are now to stay out of windy places and to cut holes in my clothes so they don’t touch the spot. Well I live in Oswego where we are known for extreme wind and it’s on my upper thigh where unless I’m in underwear something is touching it)
Also, some patients describe a “sagging of the muscles” in the area of the shingles. When doctors examine the region, a loss of muscle tone is seen. This might be caused by damage of some nerves that control the muscle tone in the area of the shingles. (I’m praying this doesn’t happen)
<http://www.stoppain.org/pain_medicine/content/chronicpain/shingles.asp>
If you’re around my age (20) and have PHN please contact me it’s said that 2% of the 20% of people (over the age of 50) who have shingles get PHN and there is no percentage for those my age; I’m looking for anyone to understand!
What better way to start a blog than with a poem? To start I’m taking a poetry class where we are required to write at least one poem a week; last week I wrote this one about how I have PHN and found inspiration from that as well as poet, Barbra Hamby. All in all writing has become a way to help me keep sanity from PHN, I’ll be explaining that later.
Inspirations of Barbra Hamby and PHN
With verses like hearses
bringing me down
I just want to SCREAM!
What else do I say?
That the world is full of candy,
Sugar covered fluffy pillows?
Wrong.
Fluffy pillows, maybe covered in spikes
and you’re lucky to find someone
with gloves to cover your hands
from getting pricked by the painful…
Words like needles in your skull
what’s the difference?
Of these words and needles, spikes,
all pointing at you like daggers
into your heart stabbing you softly
until you rest your head at night.
Into your dreams you go
and you know that could be life,
where you rest your head,
but mostly people think it’s where you walk
Feet on pavement equals real
and it can’t be anything other than that
or can it?
stickylikeglue 